Joy Comes in the Morning

I recently got a new CD online for my Itunes music. There is a song on the album..title of it, in fact. It's called Your Love Never Fails. I keep listening to it over and over. There is a section of the chorus that says There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the Ocean's rage.. I don't have to be afraid because I know that you love me. Your love never fails. That line just keeps going over and over in my head. There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning.
I think I'm entering into a new phase in this journey. Anger. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I'm Christy... I love everyone! I give the shirt off my back so that others might have something to wear. I'm faithful. I'm loyal! I DON'T GET IT??!!! I now hear stories as my girls come home of how much fun they had with their Daddy and his girlfriend. Stories of things she made for them to eat. The fun places they went. How she fixed their hair for them. I know I'm gonna have to get used to this new part of my life, but it's hard not to think about when I come home night after night alone. Longing for someone's arms to be around me. To tell me that I am worth loving. I keep thinking about the fact that he lied to me. Making me believe that I was worth everything to him and then SUDDENLY..gone. Yesterday I wanted to stay in bed all day. I wanted to hide. I wanted to sink into depression, but I didn't. I remember the words. God wants me to LIVE! Get out of that bed Christy. You are gonna conquer this thing. You are gonna continue to put one foot in front of the other. I loaded the girls, and their friend, in the car and we went to Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens. It was 4th of July and free day. It was beautiful! It was fun! We took the camera and took a ton of fun pictures. I let the girls play in a fountain with a bunch of kids. As they played, I journaled. I got my emotions out. I have to keep going. I can't quit. I can't give up. I have to show my girls what Courage looks like even when I'm not sure myself. I have to stay steady so my girls can continue to be little girls. I want them to look back at this time in their life and know that God was all around them!
I had a talk with my friend Jack today - he said that it's like God is only giving me a flashlight along the way, because if he were to shine the light on what is coming my way... all the good.. I might explode. It would be too much for me to take in. Anyway..Jack..He's all too familiar with pain. It's a different kind of pain than I'm going though, but it's still hard and he should not be living today! For me, there has been joy along the way. God has given me a couple of friends who seriously crack me up! One works in the office beside mine. THANK GOD FOR TODD! He has the joy of the Lord and it's completely contagious! God has strategically placed me in the office beside him so I can catch His joy when I get too focused on my circumstance. The other is an unexpected friend that I happened to gain BECAUSE of my husband leaving. This friend will call at night... the hardest part of my day it seems, and I will end up laughing so hard that my face literally hurts! I can't thank God enough for the gift of both of these people in my life!!!
Soo many times I've asked God to fast forward me to this time next year.. but He says no. There is so much that he wants me to discover about me along the way..from here to next year. That can only come in the victory and failures in each day. Sooo I will continue to put one foot in front of the other and will continue to look for the Joy to come in the morning. For this pain in the night to pass. God continues to write this amazing story of my life. I just want to make Him proud along the way and LAUGH alot despite it!

You are God's favorite and don't you forget it! What is He doing in you? Are you even looking for Him in your day?
You are very very loved!