Every day is different in my world right now. I believe that I've said that a few times already. This really is kinda cool to watch God peel the layers of my life away and uncover more and more of who Christy is.
Ok, so a couple of blogss ago, I said to say goodbye to the dumb blonde. Well.... I think part of her is gonna be here to stay... it's just who I am, and you know what?? I'm glad because it's the part of me that makes me laugh and makes others laugh too. Precisely a week ago today, I broke down on the interstate with a car full of groceries and tween girls. I had a ton of people come to my rescue.. no suprise there. I definitely got peeps! LOL.. sooo, my boss had my car towed to the church and then on Monday morning, a wonderful man in our church had the car towed to his shop. Three days later, car is all fixed and my boss went to pick it up for me. When he got back, he wanted to share the news with me of what was wrong with my car. He gathered several people around and proceeded to tell me...Christy...you were out of gas!!!! Giggle. Dear Lord... I really was NOT meant to be alone in this world. Please don't make me wait too long for my help mate cause obviously... I NEED HELP!! Seriously... alot of people got a good laugh and you know what?? I'm glad.
On Wednesday morning I went out to run 5 miles. As I ran in the extreme humidity, I listened to my ipod. The beat of the music helps set my pace. As I got to about mile number 4, the ipod died. UGH.. now I'm forced to think. As I ran, I prayed for some people and then I thought about me. I decided to take a good hard look at myself. Here's what I asked myself.
Christy.. why do you feel it's so important to tell everyone how far you are running? Why do you feel the need to brag about it so badly? Here's why. I'm a master manipulator. I post a status update to impress people. I have needed people's approval of me for sooo long now that it's been feeding that part of me that was allowing people to fill a void in me that only GOD can fill. It goes all the way back to when I was a child. A mother who left when I was 12. Never feeling like I totally had her approval my whole life. I have been loving hearing how impressed everyone is with me. I have been craving it. It's been feeding my pride and it's time to stop that behavior. I no longer want people's approval of me. I am falling in love with Christ in Christy and I'm becoming more and more free. I'm am in need of people's approval less and less. Yes.. I will always be Christy..FABULOUS one. I love being a girly girl. I love feeling pretty and cute and silly and fun, but I don't NEED you to tell me what you think of me anymore. I will always love to get compliments.. who doesn't, but I've decided to begin to believe what God says about me. God is changing me..this is not an easy road that I'm walking, but WOW...I like what is happening to me. I feel like I'm becoming more in control of my life.
The world does not revolve around me. I want to live my life in such a way that you get blessed when I pass you by because God is bubbling out of me.
So my question to you tonight is this...is there something deep inside of you that you need to be real about? Is there something in your life that you keep filling with everything else but Jesus even though that hole you keep filling with those other things..belongs to Him?? It's time to get real and get free. Believe me... it's the MOST amazing feeling in the world!
Put your hand on your chest and feel your heart beat and know that the God of the UNIVERSE is allowing that to happen and wants you to know that HIS father heart is beatting for you.
He loves you because He loves you because He loves you because He loves you...because that is what He is like.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Game Show Living...
Ok, so not too long ago I had a friend that made me laugh soooo hard. One night this friend of mine said to me.. You know Christy... I'm watching your life and it's like you have just won all the prizes at the end of a tv gameshow. And God says in His announcer voice... "tell her what she's won Jesus" and Jesus says (in His announcer voice) well Christy, for living the faithfilled life, You're gonna get that townhouse you were praying for.. you're gonna get 17 people to come to your house on a Sunday night and pack your entire house and ALL in less than two hours. You're gonna get 16 big strong men to help you move and a FREE moving truck. You're gonna get a FREE trip to sunny St. Augustine Florida and did I mention....the best lawyers in Richmond.. PROBONO? But that's not all Christy...you're gonna get to work with a bunch of people who are crazy about you and who will lift you up in prayer when you are hurting. You're gonna have more friends than you know what to do with... all for living a FAITH filled life.
I wish you could have heard my friend in his announcers voice... LOL... so funny! Ever since that conversation, I have equated all the blessings from God as "FABULOUS prizes" at the end of a gameshow. When we choose to walk the right path, it's unbelievable what God will do for us. He will blow our minds with how He provides for our every need...even when we don't know what it is that we need.
Sooo that conversation with my friend was a couple of months ago. And just today I had another one of those Game Show Moments... today however, I'm pretty sure I won BOTH showcases.
Over the past two days, I've been quiet emotional. Part of it is my fear of not being provided for, part of it is emotional exhaustion..part of it is just needing a break from being a single parent and trying to entertain everyone all the time. Working full time and being a parent...the only one here is not an easy road, HOWEVER.. God is good and knows everything that we need.
On Saturday night, I told the girls that they could have a sleepover with a friend. We went and picked her up, went to the grocery store, and on the way home.. my car died on the Interstate. Well crap. The timing of this is TERRIBLE! I have no money right now. I have to pay rent on Friday.. we've been in a financial crunch for the past two months because of our circumstance and the warranty is now out on my car... UGH. I just switched to Geico... but didnt' get the roadside assistance. Sooo I'm on the side of the road. Within minutes..because of the people God has in my life... I had a ride to pick up the car that I would borrow for the next few days, my boss came and had my car towed to the church, we were fed a homecooked meal including birthday cake..that was delicious, and I got to see my sweet friend Penny who I hadn't seen in months.
That very night though.. I was tempted with something. I was faced with a choice. I knew what the RIGHT thing to do was, YET... I WANTED this thing soooo badly. I won't go into the details.. just know, I shed ALOT of tears over it and I chose to do the RIGHT thing. In fact by Monday night.. I had shared every detail with an accountability partner of mine. I sobbed and sobbed and last night.. I gave it entirely to Jesus. Even this morning.. I cried all the way to work, partly because of me denying what I really wanted, partly because I saw pictures of the woman that I was left for, partly out of anger, partly out of fear of not having my needs met. Not to mention that Chloe was terrified of a cloud in the sky last night. Her anxiety is unbelievable at times. Just alot on me at once I guess- but it was no longer my problem.. it's HIS.
Here is what happened today.
Shortly after staff meeting, I was pulled aside by a beautiful older lady on staff. She said to me that she would like to help with school supplies for the girls.. WOW.. burden lifted on that one! That stuff can get expensive! Several hours later, I was told that my car was ready and fixed... no charge. I was also told that the towing was paid for as well... I got a check in the mail from my sweet dad who wanted to make sure we had food on the table. I got an email from my mother in law who wanted me to make sure I get what I need for the girls for school...clothes, shoes, all that stuff. THEN I went to dinner with some of the ladies from my church. Not only was our dinner paid for, but I was given a card. I opened it when I got home. In it was a check for $1000.00. SUDDENLY in ONE day... I don't have to worry about how it's gonna work.. God says "tell her what she's won Jesus" and in His announcer voice he says...You're gonna get a ride when your car breaks down.. you're gonna get your car towed for FREE.. you're gonna get a decent car to drive while your car is in the shop and your car will be fixed at NO Charge to you Christy... your kids will get all their school supplies that they need and you're gonna get enough money to pay all your bills.... all this for doing the right thing!
Let me just say this.. I have been tithing every single paycheck that I get. He get's the first part of it. Because of that very thing.. I have needed NOTHING. God just lays it on people's hearts. He provides. It's a promise to His kids and you can find it in Malachi 3:10.
Sooo I want to say to you... we all have choices in life. One choice will bring you freedom and the other misery and regret. When you do choose God's way and not your own.. you get "FABULOUS PRIZES". Not every blessing is financial like mine mostly was today. I think the bigger blessing in my day today was that I needed to know that God was there... that He was near to me... WOW did He ever prove Himself to me.
What about you? Do you have a choice to make to do the right thing or do what YOU want to do? Believe me.. doing it His way is sooooooo much better!
He is jealous for you and He wants to blow your mind with His insane love for you!!!
YOU are His FAVORITE!!
I wish you could have heard my friend in his announcers voice... LOL... so funny! Ever since that conversation, I have equated all the blessings from God as "FABULOUS prizes" at the end of a gameshow. When we choose to walk the right path, it's unbelievable what God will do for us. He will blow our minds with how He provides for our every need...even when we don't know what it is that we need.
Sooo that conversation with my friend was a couple of months ago. And just today I had another one of those Game Show Moments... today however, I'm pretty sure I won BOTH showcases.
Over the past two days, I've been quiet emotional. Part of it is my fear of not being provided for, part of it is emotional exhaustion..part of it is just needing a break from being a single parent and trying to entertain everyone all the time. Working full time and being a parent...the only one here is not an easy road, HOWEVER.. God is good and knows everything that we need.
On Saturday night, I told the girls that they could have a sleepover with a friend. We went and picked her up, went to the grocery store, and on the way home.. my car died on the Interstate. Well crap. The timing of this is TERRIBLE! I have no money right now. I have to pay rent on Friday.. we've been in a financial crunch for the past two months because of our circumstance and the warranty is now out on my car... UGH. I just switched to Geico... but didnt' get the roadside assistance. Sooo I'm on the side of the road. Within minutes..because of the people God has in my life... I had a ride to pick up the car that I would borrow for the next few days, my boss came and had my car towed to the church, we were fed a homecooked meal including birthday cake..that was delicious, and I got to see my sweet friend Penny who I hadn't seen in months.
That very night though.. I was tempted with something. I was faced with a choice. I knew what the RIGHT thing to do was, YET... I WANTED this thing soooo badly. I won't go into the details.. just know, I shed ALOT of tears over it and I chose to do the RIGHT thing. In fact by Monday night.. I had shared every detail with an accountability partner of mine. I sobbed and sobbed and last night.. I gave it entirely to Jesus. Even this morning.. I cried all the way to work, partly because of me denying what I really wanted, partly because I saw pictures of the woman that I was left for, partly out of anger, partly out of fear of not having my needs met. Not to mention that Chloe was terrified of a cloud in the sky last night. Her anxiety is unbelievable at times. Just alot on me at once I guess- but it was no longer my problem.. it's HIS.
Here is what happened today.
Shortly after staff meeting, I was pulled aside by a beautiful older lady on staff. She said to me that she would like to help with school supplies for the girls.. WOW.. burden lifted on that one! That stuff can get expensive! Several hours later, I was told that my car was ready and fixed... no charge. I was also told that the towing was paid for as well... I got a check in the mail from my sweet dad who wanted to make sure we had food on the table. I got an email from my mother in law who wanted me to make sure I get what I need for the girls for school...clothes, shoes, all that stuff. THEN I went to dinner with some of the ladies from my church. Not only was our dinner paid for, but I was given a card. I opened it when I got home. In it was a check for $1000.00. SUDDENLY in ONE day... I don't have to worry about how it's gonna work.. God says "tell her what she's won Jesus" and in His announcer voice he says...You're gonna get a ride when your car breaks down.. you're gonna get your car towed for FREE.. you're gonna get a decent car to drive while your car is in the shop and your car will be fixed at NO Charge to you Christy... your kids will get all their school supplies that they need and you're gonna get enough money to pay all your bills.... all this for doing the right thing!
Let me just say this.. I have been tithing every single paycheck that I get. He get's the first part of it. Because of that very thing.. I have needed NOTHING. God just lays it on people's hearts. He provides. It's a promise to His kids and you can find it in Malachi 3:10.
Sooo I want to say to you... we all have choices in life. One choice will bring you freedom and the other misery and regret. When you do choose God's way and not your own.. you get "FABULOUS PRIZES". Not every blessing is financial like mine mostly was today. I think the bigger blessing in my day today was that I needed to know that God was there... that He was near to me... WOW did He ever prove Himself to me.
What about you? Do you have a choice to make to do the right thing or do what YOU want to do? Believe me.. doing it His way is sooooooo much better!
He is jealous for you and He wants to blow your mind with His insane love for you!!!
YOU are His FAVORITE!!
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