Every day is different in my world right now. I believe that I've said that a few times already. This really is kinda cool to watch God peel the layers of my life away and uncover more and more of who Christy is.
Ok, so a couple of blogss ago, I said to say goodbye to the dumb blonde. Well.... I think part of her is gonna be here to stay... it's just who I am, and you know what?? I'm glad because it's the part of me that makes me laugh and makes others laugh too. Precisely a week ago today, I broke down on the interstate with a car full of groceries and tween girls. I had a ton of people come to my rescue.. no suprise there. I definitely got peeps! LOL.. sooo, my boss had my car towed to the church and then on Monday morning, a wonderful man in our church had the car towed to his shop. Three days later, car is all fixed and my boss went to pick it up for me. When he got back, he wanted to share the news with me of what was wrong with my car. He gathered several people around and proceeded to tell me...Christy...you were out of gas!!!! Giggle. Dear Lord... I really was NOT meant to be alone in this world. Please don't make me wait too long for my help mate cause obviously... I NEED HELP!! Seriously... alot of people got a good laugh and you know what?? I'm glad.
On Wednesday morning I went out to run 5 miles. As I ran in the extreme humidity, I listened to my ipod. The beat of the music helps set my pace. As I got to about mile number 4, the ipod died. UGH.. now I'm forced to think. As I ran, I prayed for some people and then I thought about me. I decided to take a good hard look at myself. Here's what I asked myself.
Christy.. why do you feel it's so important to tell everyone how far you are running? Why do you feel the need to brag about it so badly? Here's why. I'm a master manipulator. I post a status update to impress people. I have needed people's approval of me for sooo long now that it's been feeding that part of me that was allowing people to fill a void in me that only GOD can fill. It goes all the way back to when I was a child. A mother who left when I was 12. Never feeling like I totally had her approval my whole life. I have been loving hearing how impressed everyone is with me. I have been craving it. It's been feeding my pride and it's time to stop that behavior. I no longer want people's approval of me. I am falling in love with Christ in Christy and I'm becoming more and more free. I'm am in need of people's approval less and less. Yes.. I will always be Christy..FABULOUS one. I love being a girly girl. I love feeling pretty and cute and silly and fun, but I don't NEED you to tell me what you think of me anymore. I will always love to get compliments.. who doesn't, but I've decided to begin to believe what God says about me. God is changing me..this is not an easy road that I'm walking, but WOW...I like what is happening to me. I feel like I'm becoming more in control of my life.
The world does not revolve around me. I want to live my life in such a way that you get blessed when I pass you by because God is bubbling out of me.
So my question to you tonight is this...is there something deep inside of you that you need to be real about? Is there something in your life that you keep filling with everything else but Jesus even though that hole you keep filling with those other things..belongs to Him?? It's time to get real and get free. Believe me... it's the MOST amazing feeling in the world!
Put your hand on your chest and feel your heart beat and know that the God of the UNIVERSE is allowing that to happen and wants you to know that HIS father heart is beatting for you.
He loves you because He loves you because He loves you because He loves you...because that is what He is like.
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