I call this Christmas Eve because I haven't gone to bed yet. It is officially Christmas day. Merry Christmas everyone! I have sooo many different emotions tonight. I'm looking at my tree and BLOWN away by the amount of gifts under the tree. Just yesterday I was in tears because I couldn't afford Christmas this year. This morning a beautiful little elf left my car full of Christmas gifts for me and the girls. Amazing! I'm very excited for tomorrow morning to see what we all have gotten. How is it that I even question God?? He is faithful..faithful..and then faithful some more! But then I have these moments of sadness that overwhelm me. I long to be held and yet I can sense in my soul that He is holding me, telling me to hold steady. Breathe. You're making it through. I got a text message tonight..CHRISTMAS EVE..from my husband. I am meeting him on Sunday afternoon to let him have the girls for the week. Here is the deal..He wants to bring the woman that he left me for to meet me! I now have to process all of these new emotions and feelings..why are people so cruel? OMG!! I am like the nicest person on the face of the earth and it's like..they long to laugh at me. I'm just a big joke. 13 years I gave to this man never ever would I ever leave him. He is OBLIVIOUS to the pain that he has caused me. YET..I'm clinging to my HOPE tonight. The hope of GOD WITH US. Emmanuel. I know He is here. I know it because I'm looking at my tree tonight and the amount of gifts underneath it and I did not pay for one thing under that tree.
Despite what is done to me.. I'm choosing to forgive. I want to be a light to this dark world..I will continue to shine through those clouds. I've said it before, but the most beautiful sunsets are the ones after a storm with clouds still in the sky.
I'm soo thankful for a God who understands the pain of rejection. My situation is NOTHING compared to what He went through! I'm looking forward to 2010. I'm praying for a much better year!
In the meantime...Merry Christmas. May you experience Emmanuel..God with us today!
You are loved!
Christy
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Love Box
A couple of weeks ago, I recieved a gift that has begun to change the mood within my home. This little gift has become an amazing source of encouragement to my girls and me. It's called the love box. It's a little 3x5 inch size brass box filled with brightly colored papers all empty. What we are suppose to do, on a daily basis, is to take one of the papers out and write a love note to each other and then leave it for them to find. So far, I have found love notes on top of my lunch, in drawers, underneath my pillow, on the computer, in the car. It's become a little game, AND, I'm watching my girls begin to encourage each other with their notes of love to each other. Once we find the notes, we put them back into the box so we can read them later. In just a two week period, it has become one of the most cherished gifts that I have ever been given...if we ever have a fire, I'm grabbin that box! My girls have been able to share their deepest emotions to me on these papers. I'm literally choking back tears as i even think about some of the things that they have shared with me. Just a couple of nights ago, I got one from Chloe. Chloe is sooo very near to my heart. She has always been a very deep "feeler" personality..much like myself. When I am down, it's Chloe that gets real close to me physically. She is constantly hugging me and loving on me... she is beautiful.
Here is what my love note from Chloe said..
Dear Mommy.
Today I love you because of your smile. Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful smile in the world? If nobody has...you can change that answer because I'm saying it now. I love you. Chloe
Just a few short weeks ago- right before Thanksgiving, I was leading worship. While I was on stage, the Holy Spirit fell heavily on me. I got lost absolutely lost in worship to the Creator of the Universe. As I sang, I felt God speak to me. He said.. "This will be a season of joy for you" and then I got the words in my head... Tis the season to be jolly...lol. Remember... I'm singing in front of a bunch of people...leading them into His presence.. and He's talkin to me here...He's so like that!
I have been a little bit worried about going into this holiday season. It's the first one as a single woman. The first in 13 years. However, joy is my thing! I'm happy go lucky. I'm joyful. I have every reason to be joyful and yet... I have this weird sadness in my heart. It's normal. I'm totally human so I won't pretend that I don't have pain. I do! BUT... I have a God who turns my mourning into dancing and lifts my sorrow! He knows that joy is my thing. He is a God who gives GOOD gifts to His children. And by His prompting the love box came from someone who is sooo intimately in love with Him as well. God knew what would happen in my home as we began to love one another and encourage one another with words of affirmation.
God has also given us a love box. It's called His word- THE BIBLE. Open it up at any time and you will find love letters to His children all through it. You will find encouragement and hope. It's LIVING! No matter what you are going through, you can open up the pages and find life, HOPE, and love that will never be quenched. He is insanely in love with you! Can I just encourage you to make your own love box this Christmas. Give it as a gift to someone you love. It's very simple and life changing. No diamond can compare to it's power!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! SMILE;)
Christy
Here is what my love note from Chloe said..
Dear Mommy.
Today I love you because of your smile. Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful smile in the world? If nobody has...you can change that answer because I'm saying it now. I love you. Chloe
Just a few short weeks ago- right before Thanksgiving, I was leading worship. While I was on stage, the Holy Spirit fell heavily on me. I got lost absolutely lost in worship to the Creator of the Universe. As I sang, I felt God speak to me. He said.. "This will be a season of joy for you" and then I got the words in my head... Tis the season to be jolly...lol. Remember... I'm singing in front of a bunch of people...leading them into His presence.. and He's talkin to me here...He's so like that!
I have been a little bit worried about going into this holiday season. It's the first one as a single woman. The first in 13 years. However, joy is my thing! I'm happy go lucky. I'm joyful. I have every reason to be joyful and yet... I have this weird sadness in my heart. It's normal. I'm totally human so I won't pretend that I don't have pain. I do! BUT... I have a God who turns my mourning into dancing and lifts my sorrow! He knows that joy is my thing. He is a God who gives GOOD gifts to His children. And by His prompting the love box came from someone who is sooo intimately in love with Him as well. God knew what would happen in my home as we began to love one another and encourage one another with words of affirmation.
God has also given us a love box. It's called His word- THE BIBLE. Open it up at any time and you will find love letters to His children all through it. You will find encouragement and hope. It's LIVING! No matter what you are going through, you can open up the pages and find life, HOPE, and love that will never be quenched. He is insanely in love with you! Can I just encourage you to make your own love box this Christmas. Give it as a gift to someone you love. It's very simple and life changing. No diamond can compare to it's power!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! SMILE;)
Christy
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