An answered prayer

Several months ago I began to pray and ask God for the nations. This was not a new request for me, but somewhat of a forgotten request. Through a chain of events and different people that I have been meeting, my heart began to beat again for the nations and so I began to pray and intercede for them. I believe that God is now answering that request and that cry of my heart. As I have continued to seek God, my heart and mind have been overwhelmed with the desire to reach the nations of this world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to be a nation changer!! Correction, I am a nation changer, in Jesus Name!

I am going to change nations!! Yes, nations!! Who is with me? I know that the Lord is with me!! Are you with me? Let's change nations together.

Alright, let's take a trip together to our first nation - Pakistan

As I am sure many of you already know, recently, the country of Pakistan has been devastated by horrific flooding. Many people have been left homeless, had their livelihoods destroyed, and disease is spreading all over that nation. For those who may not know, Pakistan is a nation that is over 96% Islamic, many of whom are extremists. Did you know that Islam is currently the fastest growing religion in the world? The good news is that our God still reigns!! Through this recent disaster, the Lord has opened the doors in Pakistan for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to be spread like never before. Now, I don't know about you......... but I WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT!

Praise God, a door has opened for me and YOU to get involved. Yes, that's right we can be a part of this amazing move of God. Let me explain. I was recently introduced to Pastor Nathaniel Barkat and his family. Their ministry is Christian Fellowship of Pakistan (CFP). Here is their website: http://www.christianfellowshippakistan.org/Pakistan/Welcome.html

Pastor Nathaniel lives in Denver Colorado but he and some of his children (all pastors) are frequently on the ground in Pakistan. This past week, their ministry held a Christian meeting in one of the flood ravaged areas in Pakistan and 8000 people showed up to hear about Jesus Christ. The only advertisement was word of mouth. Approximately, 4000 people gave their lives to Christ at this meeting. CAN YOU IMAGINE?? I got to see pictures from that event and I was left speechless. I spoke with Pastor Nathaniel about the current needs in Pakistan. He shared with me that the Pakistani people are very open to the gospel for the first time in their lives because of the floods. There are Christian teams on the ground and ready to help, but they are in need of supplies. They need medicine and tents, clothing and food. I don't know about you but I cannot personally ship a container of supplies to Pakistan. What I can do, however, is provide the needed monetary support for those supplies to be purchased locally and distributed to the people in need. Pastor Nathaniel is leaving to go to Pakistan on September 29th. He will be on the ground for the next 3 months. In addition to donating money, one thing that my daughters and I are doing is cleaning out the closets and holding a fund raising yard sale on October 2. I hope that this event will help raise awareness and generate additional funds for this great cause.

WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME? I am asking for you to pray about joining me in this effort. Please pray that God's will be done in this nation of Pakistan. Pray for His mercy and that He will continue to open doors for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Please pray for the protection of those on the ground risking their lives to bring this message to those in need of our Savior.

I know many of you are going to want help. Why? because I know you and I know your hearts. A special account has been set up for this relief effort. We are seeking to put as much money as we can in the hands of Pastor Nathaniel before he leaves for Pakistan on the 29th of September. . Remember, that all of us working together can make a HUGE impact. Every little bit counts!

I always remember these words from Jesus in Luke 21:2-3 And He saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And He said, “Of a truth I say to you, that this poor woman hath cast in more than they all”

Here is all the information that you should need to help. You can, of course, contact the ministry directly through their website but since they are going to be on the ground in Pakistan, it might not be the best way. However, there is another gentleman who works with the ministry here stateside and he is the one currently coordinating this relief effort. His name is Shaun and he can be reached by email at cfprelief@gmail.com. I am working with him directly. I am happy to forward your donations to him or you can contact him directly. To make things easy, cfprelief@gmail.com is also set up to receive funds through PayPal. Any checks should be made out to “Redeemer Temple”, their Denver church and designate “For Pakistan”. If I have missed anything or you have any other questions, just ask me.

This is our first stop on what will hopefully become our World Tour together. I am so fired up!! LET’S TOUCH THIS WORLD TOGETHER!!!

Your fellow Nation Changer,

Christy JOY

You are LOVED!

My Sacrifice

I think we can all agree that one of the biggest sacrifices made in the Bible, before Jesus came, was when Abraham laid his son on the alter. I cannot begin to imagine or fathom what he must have been feeling. Sometimes we tend to look at the people in the Bible as a "character". The truth is ......they were REAL people with REAL emotions. Working in the church, I have seen many people who have lost loved ones, but there is NOTHING like seeing someone lose a child! I'm a mom and I refuse to even think about losing one of my children. The pain would be too intense. The amazing thing is that Abraham loved God enough that he was willing to do what God asked of him. Isaac was Abraham's dream. Having a son was a dream to him and God called Abraham to lay it down on the alter and sacrafice his dream. Give it back- no questions asked. I'm beginning this blog like this because I THINK God is asking something of me.

For quite some time now, I have had a growing heart for the nations. Years ago I was in an organization called YWAM. YWAM stands for Youth With A Mission. It's a HUGE mission organization with locations all over the world and they are equipping missionaries to go into ALL the world and take the gospel. When I was in YWAM, I began to get a heart for the world. Due to circumstances, I did not continue on in the organization. I went home....where life was safe and comfortable. I got a job and began to work and just two years later, I found myself married and I began that part of my life. Since my separation and divorce, God has been writing this incredible story of my life. Along the way, I have met the MOST amazing people! Back in February, South Africa walked into my life and has been seeming to take over my heart in a "hectic"way. That's a word that my friend Trish uses all the time. She lives in Cape Town. Anyway... my heart has been growing for missions. And I don't believe it stops in South Africa. I believe that my heart is beatting for the brokenhearted ALL over the world! So what does that mean today?

I have a couple of dreams...my first one is to go to South Africa. I need to go and discover what God wants me to do. I need to meet my mentor, Wilma. I need to meet Trish, and if Westley were there...I would need to meet him to. These people mean the WORLD to me! They have challenged my life in ways that I have never imagined.



My second dream is this and the one that I would like to focus this blog upon......I have a longing to find the man of my dreams. I don't like being single- I won't lie. I wish I had the backing of another parent helping me to raise and discipline my daughters. I wish I had strong arms to wrap around me at night when I come home after working all day. I want someone to love on and spoil. I want to laugh and to dream with someone. I want to be in ministry with him. BUT....I want God more. Tonight I feel like God is asking something of me. I feel like God is asking me to lay this particular dream on the alter and to focus fully on my calling. He may OR may not give me this dream back. I may or may not end up with the man of my dreams. I am asking God to take me sooooo very deep in Him that I wouldn't miss this in my life! More than the other....this is a HUGE sacrafice for me. It means...I die to the fact that I would ever have anyone in my life. I don't want to live an ordinary life...I want to be GOD's Best...I want EXTRAORDINARY! So tonight...I'm before the Lord. I am laying down and relinquishing my right to a relationship. I am accepting the calling. I will go WHEREVER it is that He would ask me to go. I will do WHATEVER it is that He desires for me to do. Oh Lord, I ask for the NATIONS!!! That's the phrase that began this whole process. The desire of my heart to have a man in my life became an idol to me. I will NOT have ANY idols befor the Lord!!! I fix my gaze upon HIS glorious beauty and say....as much as I want that God.... I want YOU MORE!!!!!!!!

What about you?? Do you have something in your life that gets in the way of what God might call you to do? Take a good hard look....that is not easy to do! That means you gotta get really truthful with yourself. BUT the reward and the freedom and peace that comes is overwhelming! Soo...lay it down. Give it back to God and LIVE!!!!

You are loved beyond what you could ever dream or imagine!!
JOY ;)

Your Lord...

This morning I am waking up to creation singing all around me and an anticipation that I can't quite explain....I can't help but have some amazing conversation with Jesus today!
I have this beautiful Bible...I LOVE it! It's TD Jakes...Woman Thou are Loosed version. There are beautiful devotionals that he has written throughout it....I have had this Bible for years and I don't believe I have read this particular devotional before...it's as if it stayed hidden until today. I must share it with you!

Your Lord Psalm 45:11

Every woman who walks with God walks through storms, winds, and rain. O woman of God, your life is filled with challenges and victories, smiles and tears. You are like a sweet salve mixed by and apothecary. You are a careful blend of life's many spices. Your personality is a potpourri of so many different things that years of knowing you will not reveal everything that makes you who you are. Youare carefully concocted and slowly simmered, stirred patiently by the Lord. It is amazing how deliberate God is in preparing you for your destiny. He knows exactly how long it will take. He knows who to send into your life. He knows what events it will take to bring you to a place of maturity in Him. He is your Lord.
It does not take long to realize that though you may have many admirers, friends, and family, none will ever take the place of your Lord. His place in your life is the foundation of every success you will ever enjoy. He will be there in every moment of pain and glory. He is the force that brings all the pieces of your life together. It is His tender love for you that keeps your mind from breaking under the stress of life. And when all is said and done no one can comfort you or hold you like He can.
You may be prosperous in your busines, secure in your relationships, confident in who you are, but it is all because of Him. It is knowing Him that gives you the grace to endure transitions, to withstand opposition, and to deflect the ammunition of the enemy. He enables you to know when the day is at it's end. He will watch you through the night and His kiss will bring you out of your sleep come dawn. He is your LORD.
Oh yes, for men it is a privilege to know and love, hold and touch a lady of excellence. It is an honor to be born out of your womb. It is a distinct privilege to take your hand in marriage. TI is a joy to hear the laughter that comes from the mouth of a woman whose heart is filled with love and peace. We watch you like admirers in a museum. We appreciate you like connoisseurs of fine cuisine. But, when all is said and done, there is a part of your life that none can touch- but your LORD.
SO know Him and love Him and worship Him. Of all the men on earth, no one can ever speak to your spirit or heal your heart like your LORD!

Exposure

If you know the Short girls at all..you know that we LOVE to take pictures. LOOOVE to take pictures. Just look at our facebook pics..you will see. The key to a great picture is the proper exposure. Perfect lighting. I'm thinking about that this morning as I feel the invitation of God to enter into His light. In order to enter into His light...I might have to expose some dark areas in my life. I'm gonna have to get vulnerable and allow my flaws to be seen. He is not trying to point us out in front of others in a negative way- to make us feel embarassed. What He is asking us to do is out of His love for us. Come into the LIGHT my child! I want to love and touch those places in you that have been hurt by others. My plan is to prosper you and not to harm you.
I'm learning trust again. I spent many years putting my hope and trust in people. Think about it this way...would you feel comfortable with someone putting all of their hope and trust in YOU?? Ohhhh goodness... I can't even imagine! I mean....I would hate it if I let them down. I would feel terrible. Yes I want to be trusted. I know, however, that I am human and sometimes I miss the mark. God however does not ever miss it! He says TRUST in ME! I'm not out here to hurt you! I LOVE YOU!!!! Today, I have come to understand why I am feeling so unsure of everything. It's because I'm trying to look at God through the eyes of my past hurts. I'm looking at Him through a clouded lens. I really DO believe that God wants me to have the MOST amazing life...but sometimes I respond to Him as a person and NOT God. Just yesterday I was having a conversation with a BEAUTIFUL woman of God. I was sharing some desires of my heart with her. She says...God does not give you a desire and then dangle it out in front of you on a string ....isn't this pretty?? Wouldn't you LOVE to have this??? and then never give it to you . He is NOT like that! Well..she had to tell me this because I have been asking Him...am I worth giving that to? I know I am! YES!
What I have to do now is to keep stepping into the light. Keep allowing God to expose and heal those areas of my life that have been broken. He knows that I long to see others free! To see them come alive in Christ. To OVERCOME! This past Sunday night, I went to a Bible study. At one point in the night...they asked me to read a scripture....Isaiah 61. " The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives and release darkness from the prisoners....." I began to weep in front of everyone. I wept because this is my heart of hearts!! I KNOW that He has this call on my life. I also know that I must fully expose the dark areas of my own life. I want to be WHOLE...so that I can help to heal the brokenhearted with His love. I don't want to bleed on the brokenhearted. I will if I don't heal. Sooo...today I choose TRUST Him. I choose to trust Him even if it means that someone has to see my something not so pretty come out of me. WHEW....this ain't easy...but I wouldn't DARE trade it for ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WISDOM

Seems like I'm in a constant school of ministry. UGH. Am I ever gonna get a week off from learning what God has to teach me? Don't fear..believe who He says you are...know what youre worth..Dream...and now..drum roll please...dadadadadadadadaaaa....Be wise. I dont think this is completely a new area...just one that seems to be screaming at me this week. This week I feel like I have done nothing but second guess myself. Constantly questioning my feelings. Is it ok to feel this way or that way...is it ok to say this or that? Who do I share this with or do I share with ANYONE....was pointing that out ok...am I right or wrong? Do I stay or go? How do I go forward with what God wants? Soooo many questions that I have right now. Ultimately I am a deep feeler. It's very hard for me to not feel..its who I am and I want to embrace that but also make it work for His good and not for it to work against me. There have been soooo many times that I "feel" lonely or "feel" sad or "feel" happy. These are human emotions and totally ok, but sometimes our feelings can control us if we aren't careful. I am choosing to walk by faith and NOT feelings. Our feelings will lie to us. You may feel lonely at times...I certainly do. BUT that doesn't mean that I am necessarily alone. Sometimes I isolate myself out of fear of feeling like I'm imposing on someone...or just plainly fear of rejection...and I say that out of pure honesty.
This week the word for my life is "BE WISE" and also....be honest. You know... I think I do pride myself in my honesty. The problem is, sometimes, I'm honest with the wrong people maybe? Or maybe I share the right information with the wrong people? God is definitely teaching me though. Ok, so lately I've been reading a book called "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. It's a two part book. The first part of the book is a parable about a man named Ordinary who lives in the land of Familiar and goes to his usual job every day. Ordinary has a big dream and decides that he wants to be a somebody. He has to cross border bullies in order to get outside of the land of Familiar. Those border bullies are usually our closest family and friends. What we have to be wise about is who do we share the Big Dream with?? Not everyone can handle the information that you give to them. Some people will discourage you from ever trying to achieve those dreams. This discouragement is just fear from where they themselves failed, or maybe, they don't want you to go for fear of losing you.
God has created me to be a very open and honest person. I really do like that about me. But again, sometimes I'm too open and honest with the wrong people and it comes back to haunt me. Soooo... God is teaching me to learn from my mistakes. Right now...it feels like mistakes are all that I make. BUT...I'm trying my best to fall forward when I fall. When you fall forward...you stand up ahead. Still makes me feel stupid. Exposed. Like a big mess. Like I can't seem to get it right. That someone is ALWAYS going to point out my failures. And that hurts my pride...and rebellion is at the root of pride...and NONE of that is from the Lord. I certainly don't want to live in fear of that. I want to live in freedom.
My prayer tonight is Lord...Grant me wisdom. Help me to be wise and discerning. Help me to honor you in ALL of my relationships. Help me to be free to be myself and teach me how to be a woman of God who walks in wisdom. Help me to think through things clearly and to not be as tuned into my flesh as I am to the Lord. I have alot of questions right now. I can be easily pursuaded by my feelings, but God...I am pressing in close to You. Protect me from myself and I ask that You be the loudest voice that I hear. And even though I may not always get it right...help me to love myself despite the mistakes that I make. God....I want to do this right so that others might be free. Help me to learn what it is that I need to learn so I can grab the hand of someone else who might be second guessing themselves as well. Help me to point them in Your direction. I love YOU Jesus. I'm soooo thankful that You love me enough to not leave me in the same place that I was. Your love is amazing and I'm thankful for Your firm foundation underneath my feet. I may be shaken...but I will NOT be moved!
In Jesus Name...AMEN!
Ultimately, I think God says this to me....Christy...stop it. REST. Stop second guessing yourself. I'm in control of you here. I don't make mistakes...I like the fact that you are trying. I'm using you. Teaching you. Perfecting you. You're doing just fine.

In the meantime...please know that you are loved. As long as you are following Him and walking in obedience to Him, you will forever be a work in progress. He loves you too much to allow you to stay in that same place. BE FREE!

In His Love!!!
Christy JOY

My INNER Girlfriend

I don't really know where to start with this blog except to say that I'm falling in love with Jesus more than I ever imagined or dreamed that I would! I've just put the little lovely ladies to bed and I'm looking back at the past couple of days and shaking my head. I'm left speechless..in a very good way. My birthday was Friday and I was NOT looking forward to that one in particular, however, it ended up being a REALLY great day. There was one moment in that day that kinda started off this explosion within my head and heart. It started with a prayer and a word from God and a look into a mirror at myself. God wanted me to see myself through HIS eyes. Before I say anything else let me tell you this....Just last Tuesday our staff had this amazing prayer time. We shared what we personally needed prayer for. WELL.. I think somebody must have prayed for me on what I shared cause here God is ALREADY answering me on this one! Here was what I shared....this has been the most challenging and MOST amazing year of my entire life. I am more free today and sure of myself than I ever have been in my WHOLE life! If I could go back and change anything, I wouldn't because it's put me in such a close place of intimacy with Jesus and knowing Him like this just makes me want to know Him more. I then said this.... I DO NOT LIKE BEING SINGLE! I don't like doing this alone or not being able to go hang out with my mom or my dad or a family member and just be Christy sometimes. Sometimes I just need no one to need me. There have been times that I would find myself staying at work on Friday night at the very latest that I could because I have NOTHING to look forward to on the weekend. I asked them to pray that I would be patient and and that He would take this longing to have someone so badly away from me... that I would fall into contentment with where I am at and fall deeper in Love with Jesus. Sooo... back to Friday and the word from God..I was told that I am EXACTLY at the right place that He has me to be and to stop needing a husband so badly. There was sooo much more that I needed to hear that was said, and I ended up in tears as I often do when I spend time with this new friend of mine. That night, I went out to dinner with my girls and a friend of ours and laughed. She took them home with her for the night and I then went to Barnes and Noble bookstore and got coffee...Here it was my BIG FAT BIRTHDAY and I was alone.... and COMPLETELY HAPPY to be (God ALREADY at work)! I knew that I was loved- my facebook page was FULL of beautiful birthday wishes but there was yet ANOTHER shift happening inside of my brain. Tonight... I'm REALLY liking this shift-
My inner sister (she's a black girl and related to TD Jakes- lol) is telling me tonight this- GIRLFRIEND- Don't you EVER allow a man to define your happiness! That hole in your heart Ain't MAN sized! Don't you EVER allow a man to fill a hole that ONLY God can fill! Stop focusing so much on your FEELINS- it ain't about FEELIN- it's about sooo much more than that! Christy Joy- You keep saying that you don't want to be in a relationship with someone out of NEED but rather out of what you have to GIVE- are you willing to pay the price for that?? Well Girlfriend... it's time to start living and acting like you don't NEED anyone! Get out there and enjoy LIVING- You've already been doing a good job, but you can do better! Stop lookin and focusing on what everybody else has and realize that ALOT of people are looking at YOU right now and saying...that is ONE lucky lady right now! She don't have to worry bout makin NO man happy! She can start all over and do whatever she wants.. become whoever it is that God wants her to be...she can GO wherever the heck she wants and she ain't got to answer to nobody. I don't want to hear NO MORE how you didn't choose to be single..waaa waaa waaaa... ain't nothin you can to do change it! Take a look around you TODAY...stop worrying about what may or may not happen tomorrow. Look at all the smells and sights and all that you can touch TODAY Being so focused on what you DON'T have or being too tomorrow focused might make you miss something AMAZING that God has for you GIRL! You got these two little girls watching you and they are IN LOVE with you.. You have the opportunity to show them how to BE God's Best and to be a POWERHOUSE and you are doing a FANTASTIC job at it (yes that is called a pat on the back for myself ;) BUT you can teach them MORE... they are at an age where they are asking alot of questions and YOU..girlfriend...need to be the one teaching them! In the meantime...I know you have desires in your heart... YES.. they will come, but stop focusing on those desires and fall in love COMPLETELY with the one who put them there in the first place! You wanna be God's BEST right?? Soooo few are willing to pay that price to be the best but NOT YOU CHRISTY JOY! You can do ALL ALL ALL THINGS through CHRIST...Show the world what a REAL woman of God looks like! You have the ability to influence ALOT of people for HIM...You have the Mind of Christ according to 1 Cor. 2:16 DON'T you DARE allow the enemy to defeat you girl! Now... Get your butt out there and LIVE!
WHEW!!! Can I get a witness up in here???!! LOOK OUT! You might wanna get outta my way or jump in with me on this one! I'm planning on CLAIMING my year of JOY! (I kinda already had)... but tonight.. I'm feelin really glad that I have a God who I know is sittin up in Heaven shakin His head laughin at me tonight and sayin to Himself...FINALLY... I think she's FINALLY gettin it- BOUT TIME.

OVERWHELMED

OVERWHELMED. That's the feeling that I have this morning as I look out the window. March 1st will forever be one of the most significan days in my life. It was March 1st 1991 that the Holy Spirit got a hold of me and it was March 1st, 2009 that my husband of 13 years abandoned my daughters and I and NOW..it's March 1st 2010 and I'm waking up with JOY. The reason why I have JOY is because of the choice I made to allow God to lead me on this journey, and because I have, I have never been more free and healthy in all of my life! God has touched me in areas that I didn't even realize needed healing. I think my life was like a wall that was built without a plumbline. I believe that the foundation has always been Jesus, BUT there were bricks of rejection and insecurity and other elements that were not part of Him that allowed my wall to lean or be jagged. On March 1st, one year ago, my wall came crashing down around me and it was then that I told the Lord.. PLEASE... if You are going to put me back together, will You please heal every area in my life that is not of You? Give me YOUR identity and Yours alone. Today.. the wall of my life is being built with a plumbline so that it will not fall again.
I'm laughing as I think back over this year. As hard as it was.. I had a GREAT time! It was full of really great moments! I had the BEST summer vacation of my entire life with the girls in St. Augustine Florida! Soooo many nights on the phone with new friends laughing til my face hurt. A TON of brand new friends and healed relationships. Celebrating Father's Day with MY Daddy (one of my biggest cheerleaders!) and soooo very thankful that he showed me what the love of God looks like. Tranining and running a half marathon when it seemed impossible to do and how God revealed Himself to me on Sooooo many of those runs, helping me to discover a strength inside of me that I NEVER imagined I could have. Celebrating Thanksgiving with my mom and the realization that our relationship was strained for the past 13 years because of someone standing in the way between us and the healing that I believe took place. FUN TIMES IN PHILADELPHIA! TODD RICHARDSON and the MANY MANY MANY days (and I am choking back tears as I write this) that I could not see the computer at my desk through the tears of brokeness and running to the bathroom only for Todd to make me laugh or remind me of how far I've come and that I'm making it! A swarm of pastors who spoke into my life on so many different occasions and one campus pastor who cried with me and allowed me to lean on him and who spoke the truth, in love, to me. I can't thank God enough for allowing me to work in the place that I do. The support and accountability that I received was and still is AMAZING!
McKinny SUNSHINE and new adventures.... the name Christy Joy that was given to me because I allowed God to heal me and not run away from Him. Monster Truck Rally's, floating down the James River, Countless Photoshoots with my girls and being VERY silly!
It was MY beautiful daughters who held me one year ago today as I was doubled over and sobbing over a trash can in the kitchen. It was them that gave me strength to go on LIVING. It was them who made me laugh first. We had a huge snow storm last year on March 1st. It was then that they said... COME PLAY in the snow with us Mommy. Come laugh with us. Get out of the house and Live with us! We're gonna be ok cause we have each other. My daughters are the greatest gift of God that I have ever recieved! No it's not been easy to be a single mom, to be completely broken and still have to try and heal us all, BUT God is good like that. His strength is PERFECT when our strength is GONE. Today... I'm whole. I know who I am in Christ. Like I said before.. I've discovered Christ in Christy. I look in the mirror today and know the reflection that I see is HIS. Beautiful. I want MORE of HIm than I ever have before. I want others to know that YOU CAN MAKE IT! THere is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING that you Can't do when You allow God to have control. Today I'm ALIVE. I'm LIVING the most amazing life! It's my year of JOY and I'm OVERWHELMED by His UNENDING LOVE!

Cling to Jesus... allow Him to write your story. Allow Him to have the pen and sit back and be AMAZED! I hope you laugh today!!
WOW.

You are worth loving and I love you.

Christy JOY

Manipulation

Tonight I just have some deep thoughts going through my head. It kinda all started this morning. I woke up feeling like I was under some kind of attack.. like I just needed to get control of my mind. I am in this battle over worrying about what people think of me. I know that it stems from rejection that I have faced in my life, however, I know that God has done an amazing work in my life in the area of my self worth and so I had a decision to make. My decision was to get the running clothes on and take off despite the 25 degree tempurature outside. As I always do, I run and think and pray. This morning was no different and I was sooo loving the crispness of the air. I began to think about the fact that I am living a life to be obedient to the Lord. Just last night I died to yet another area in my life that I had been kinda holding onto. It was a place where I was getting alot of attention from and even though I had not been responding to that attention for months... it felt really good just to be noticed. Last night.. I ended it. I made the decision to not need anyone's approval of me... only God's.
This morning, as I ran, I asked myself a very hard question...why are you trying to live your life in such a way to please God?? Why are you doing EVERYTHING you know to do in order to make God proud of You?? I stepped back and took a very hard look at myself...am I doing all of this so that I can get something from God?? Am I living a right and righteous life so that I can get a blessing out of it?? And I think...maybe. But also because I do love JESUS with all my heart, BUT... I think some of the things I've been doing have been out of manipulation to Him so that I can get something good from Him. I used to do this with people. I'll do for you so that you will be my friend and love me back...I'm past that now!!! I now love people just because they are worth loving. I love because of what I have to give, not out of my need for love. I don't ever want to treat God this way. Sooooo...today..I am choosing to live for Him and be obedient to Him not so that I can get anything from Him... just because He's worthy!! I want to obey Him because I'm insanely in love with Him! YES.. I do believe that He knows my greatest heart's desires. I know that He loves to give His kids good gifts. He has given us promises in His word for all of these things, but my prayer is that I will no longer try and manipulate God and try and please Him so I can get anything out of it but simply because I love Him.
Psalm 139 : 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I have been praying this prayer lately. I believe that when you pray like this.. God will reveal Himself to you. I believe that He wanted to show me that part of my life. I NEVER EVER want to be a manipulative person. I just want people to feel loved when I am around..God's love.

What about you?? Have you asked God to search you? He will.. He will reveal Himself to you if you will ask for it. He has an amazing plan for your life but more than His plan... He just wants t spend time with you. Choose to love on Him today..not because of what you need...just because He's WORTH IT!!!

I love you!
Christy Joy

Influence

As I wait for my running buddy, I was thinking over the week so far. Can I just say... GOD IS GOOD!!!! This week I'm being influenced by a very young girl. You know... it absolutely does not matter how old you are. You can influence those around you. You have the opportunity every day to make an impact. It can be a good one or a bad one. It's totally up to you. I can say this... you will have ALOT more friends if you choose the good over the bad. Anyway.. there is currently a young girl...She's either in 8th or 9th grade. I need to find that out for sure, but Ohhh MY... this kid is CHALLENGING ME! She is loving on me in HUGE GOD ways! I'm overwhelmed by the things that she is saying about me!!
I was thinking about the Bible this morning. Think about all the Young people that God used. There was David. David faced a HUGE giant of a guy that made everybody scared to death. What was different about David was that he believed God. He believed that God was on his side. That believe came from the relationship that David had with God!! It's sooo easy to forget what we believe. It's what the enemy wants. He doesn't want us to remember God. His idea is to get us sooo inwardly focused that we forget that we have someone who will fight our battles for us and that we have NO reason to fear. Here was this enormous man who was intimidating everyone around him. Everyone was afraid of him. David comes along and says I'm not afraid... Fear doesn't control my life. I have God to fight for me. Everyone looks at him like he's crazy! But he has an intimate relationship with God. He knows If God is for him who can be against him. Sooo...he pulls out his slingshot and a rock and pow...down goes Goliath.
Everyday we have things that come against us..and sometimes we are too inwardly focused to have enough faith in God to fight the battle for ourselves. Maybe discouragement comes your way and you are too weak to fight..so you give in. Well... God knows when that happens. He's the kind of God who will send in someone to fight it for you. Maybe a friend..Maybe a 9th grade girl..just practicing believing God. We are NOT alone!
For me.... things are good in my world right now for the most part. God has put me in this girl's life for a reason. Maybe it's just to influence each other. Influencing each other to be better Christians. To get closer to Jesus.....I don't know, but I can say this... I don't know what I did to deserve such love, but I'm certainly glad that Faith Price is in my life! She is a GIANT slayer! She's gonna be a powerhouse for the Kingdom and I'm gonna be on the front row cheering her on!!

Christy Joy

Most of you may not know this about me, but I was never given a middle name. I have been sad about this for most of my life. I have longed to have one. My parents didn't give one to my sister or to me. They just said that we would lose it once we got married. Of course they gave one to my brother and I can tell you right now... HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT! He was mean to me my whole life until I became a grown up and now we love each other- well I love him...he may not love me back.. I think he does though. Anyway, it's the same story ALL the time. You meet someone, you start talking and eventually the question arises...when is your birthday..how many brothers and sisters do you have..what's your favorite food...and UGH the dreaded What's your middle name???! At least it's dreaded for me. Several months ago I made a new friend- a GOD friend and they've become my absolute favorite friend! My friend makes me pee my pants laugh..they get me...they encourage me...they challenge me to a closer walk with Jesus and one of my favorite things about them...they make me feel like the greatest runner in the world when I'm ALWAYS the last to cross the finish line when I'm with the running group from church. As I got to know my new friend, the dreaded question arose..Christy...what is your middle name...Well.... I don't have one...why don't YOU give me one?? Sooo the challenge was on to find Christy a middle name. Precisely one week ago today.. last Thursday.. I got my new name. I was driving to my friend Wendy Sue's house (see..she has a cute middle name!) I was on the phone with my friend and as ususal...I was LAUGHIN!!!!!! Ohhh goodness..that kind of HARD laugh..make your face hurt soo bad laughin! Pee your pants kinda laughin...CAN'T BREATHE kinda laughin!! I stopped and said..I love how you make me laugh..it's my favorite thing! JOY! The next thing I heard from my friend was...Christy Joy. Christy Joy.... that's it! It's your year of Joy and that's your middle name!! I went from laughin to choking back tears.
You know in the Bible how God changed people's names?? It was almost like that...He renamed Abram (high father) to Abraham (father of nations) he changed Sarai(my princess) to Sarah (mother of nations) and he renamed Simon (God has heard) to Peter(rock).
I believe that He knew that it has always been my hearts desire to have a middle name and I don't think any name has ever fit me better than Christy Joy! He knew that Joy is my THING! I LOVE TO LAUGH!!! As I've said in previous blogs..it's my favorite thing. GOD made me with JOY..I bring Him joy He brings me JOY..He IS my JOY! He's given me a friend who brings me SOO much JOY!I have two little girls who bring me JOY JOY JOY! I have JOY in what I get to do every day! I've got the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart.. WHERE? Down in my heart... WHERE? Down in my heart to STAY!!!! I think it was SUCH a God thing that happened last Thursday morning at almost 9:00am. God is writing the most beautiful story of my life!!! My name is beginning to catch on with the people in my life. My heart almost stops every time I hear that name..Christy Joy. My hope is that I will absolutely live up to my new name! This is my year of JOY! So far... it SURE is!!!!! WOW! God is good!
Do you have Joy today? You know, every day you wake up and you choose your attitude. Will the attitude you choose draw people to you or push them away? Will it challenge others to live a better life or a bitter one?
Job 8:21He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Psalm 16:11You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
There is NOTHING like knowing Jesus! NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!!!
Though the sorrow may last for a night BUT JOY comes in the morning!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Christy

2009 a Year of Discovery 2010 a Year of Joy

Happy New Year! It is officially the year 2010 and I am looking forward to what God is gonna do this year as I walk with Him.
Last year, I began a new tradition. Instead of making a New Years resolution, I decided to pray for a word from God. For the year 2009, the word was Discover. I could go on for hours about all that I discovered last year about me, about God, about life, about kids. I'll go ahead and share a few things. One of the things that I discovered was that God is near to the brokenhearted. I never imagined that I would go through the things that I went through, but I did. I am glad for the relationship that I had in place with the Lord already as it all happened. I cannot imagine ever going through something as painful as I did without the Lord in my life. I discovered a Father, a Daddy, a husband in the Lord. I also began to discover what I like and don't like. It was a new day for me. I tried Sushi for the first time... I LIKE IT!!! I LOVE FISH TACOS too!! I don't like asparagus. LAUGHING is my favorite and I love to be around people that make me pee my pants laugh. I can run 13.1 miles and probably further. I don't like being alone, but it doesn't bother me as bad as it used to. I have NO desire to do this life alone. I LOVE being held close. I LOVE yummy smells. I love being silly with my girls. I LOVE long talks about Jesus. I LOVE LOVE to pray for others. I LOVE the sun- sunrises and sunsets move me. I LOVE floating down the James river in innertubes. I love picnics on the rocks at Pony Pasture. I LOVE photography. I love the fact that it's hard for me to hold a grudge for too long. I LOVE to smile. I LOVE to watch people as they worship the creator of the Universe and the expression on their face as they love on Him, and maybe the biggest discovery of all for Christy was that I am worth loving. I found my self worth for the first time this year and now I am on a mission to help others find theirs too. All of these things I have discovered about myself. I guess I always kinda knew most of them, but I REALLY took note about it all this year.
At the end of this year I started to pray for a new word. God promised me that this is the Year of JOY for me. He is going to replace all of those tears of sorrow from this past year with JOY. It's day 6 of January and so far, every tear that I have shed this year has been a tear of joy. Here is what God is already doing....
I got to ring in the New Year with some BEAUTIFUL friends. They love Jesus and I am sooo glad that God has brought them into my life. They make me feel like I belong to a family which is something that I have longed to have. We prayed in the New Year together. On New Years Day, I got together with some othere friends. We watched Facing the Giants. That has now become my favorite movie! The movie reminds me of one of my favorite friends. Anyway... I ended up in a conversation with a new friend who challenged me on ALOT of things. Knowing the Word of God better than I do, tithing on my gross and not my net...I was CHALLENGED! When Sunday rolled around, I knew that I was to begin tithing on my gross salary..... I want a GROSS blessing and I ain't talkin bloody eyeballs lol!!! I also challenged one of my closest friend to begin doing the same thing. We are now walking in complete obedience and we are absolutely blown away at what God is doing already! People are being freed and challenged in their walks with the Lord. Financial blessings are coming. Healing is taking place. GOD is blessing us both and we are excited to watch God do amazing things in our lives. Soooo... my challenge to you today is this. Is there an area of life where you need to become obedient to God? Are you missing out on some major blessings because you don't REALLY believe Him?? Why don't you let Him prove Himself to you??? HE wants to! Nobody is more crazy in love with You than He is! Maybe you need a word for the year. Pray and ask God to give you one. He gave my daughters each a word. Emme's word is LOVE. She wants to love people better. Chloe's word is Peace. She is standing on God's word for healing of her anxiety. I believe that He is going to heal her completely in the year 2010. Whatever it is... get close to God.

For everyone who reads this blog.. I am praying for you! You are worth loving!!!!